Cycles of Transition
Newsletter
Rich Hedlund, MPA, MA and Pam McGill, PMHNP
Welcome:
Welcome to the Cycles of Transition (COT) Newsletter!
Begin the Quest:
Be in the Now:
Over the past several months we have been discussing the 5-stages of the transition process. In this addition of the newsletter the fourth stage will be addressed, which is “Be in the Now”. The five stages are: Shed the Mask, Mark your Path, Begin the Quest, Be in the Now, and Light the Path for Others. Each stage of the transition process provides its own unique tools that will assist you in identifying issues that are impacting your life, and assist you in developing effective ways to use this awareness in order to live a more fulfilling life.
“Be in the Now” – What we mean by this is that the only moment that we truly have control of in our lives is the moment we find ourselves in right NOW. What must be remembered is that this “NOW” moment is like water rapidly moving down a river, it will always be changing. Because of the fluidity of life it is important that we fully grasp each NOW moment as it moves us along our life’s course. We no longer have control over the moments of the past; these are experiences that have already impacted our lives and will remain in our memories only to be recalled when the opportunity arises. And, the future moments are yet to be experienced, and may be impacted by situations that one may not be aware of at this moment.
A question that many people ask is: By being aware of each NOW moment how do I use this understanding to make the most of my life? You begin by answering another question: What is it that I really want to accomplish in the second half of my life? By addressing this question you begin exploring what is important in your life, what your passions are; and what kind of impact you want to have on your immediate world. In order to take full advantage of the NOW you have to have an idea as to what the answers are to the above questions. If you do, then you can begin to identify future goals; these can be either well defined goals or ones that that need further exploration. Your future moments will be like stepping stones that will lead you to achieving the identified goals. With goals the future will be a little less uncertain; without them life will be like entering a dark forest without a map or flashlight.
It is your option, you can either fully invest yourself in life by setting a course and living each and every NOW moment, or you can decline the opportunity and sit on the sideline and watch each precious moment of life flow by. What is your choice?
Rich Speaks With Men:
Where am I going; what do I want from life; who am I; what is my purpose; what are my passions? For those of us who have entered the second half of our lives, these, and many other questions may have begun to surface. For many men who believe that the second half of their lives will be no different than the first half there may come that moment when they must face reality and what they see may leave them unprepared and uncomfortable. What happens when one has striven long and hard to develop a working view of the world, a seemingly useful, workable map, and then is confronted with new information suggesting that that view is wrong and the map needs to be largely redrawn? The painful effort required at times may seem daunting. What we do more often than not, and usually unconsciously, is to ignore the new information. Often this act of ignoring is much more than passive. As William Bridges stated in his book "the way of transition", “Sadly, such a person may expend much more energy ultimately in defending an outmoded view of the world than would have been required to revise and correct it in the first place”.
There are distinct differences between the first and second half of life and in order to address the accompanying life changes one must begin by searching for answers to the question identified above. One way to do this is by living in the present moment – the NOW moment. This can be very effective only if you allow yourself to listen to your wants, your fears, your passions, and your desires. Because we are older it doesn’t mean that we can’t have new dreams and aspirations. It is now up to you to set goals and begin the journey of personal growth by taking each step as it comes and be fully present in every NOW moment.
Pam Connects With Women:
In this edition we focus on being present in this moment. The reality is that the present moment is really all we have. The past is gone, and the future may be different than we have imagined. It is so easy to get lost in future thinking, for example thinking when I retire I will...., when I earn enough money then...., when my children are on their own....and on and on. This type of futurizing keeps us removed from being present right now. We essentially not only don't have the past or future, but have also lost the present. To stay connected in the moment, try listening intently, noticing details, paying attention to children, and spending time alone with yourself and loved ones. The moment is yours...Pam Quote for the Season:
"Just as the wave cannot exist for itself, but must always participate in the swell of the ocean, so we can never experience life by ourselves, but must always share the experience of life that takes place all around us." Albert Schweitzer
